so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
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