you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Randomize
