"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Randomize
