that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Randomize
