You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Randomize
