no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
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I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
This baby is an asshole
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Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
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