So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Randomize
