She is in my trunk
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Randomize
