chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
