Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
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