How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
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