mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Randomize
