How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
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