Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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