I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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