imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
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