Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Randomize
