We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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