i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
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