You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
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