9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
My ass is underappreciated
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
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