Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
