so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
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