i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
