You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
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