MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
