Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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