He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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