She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Randomize
