Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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