Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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