If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
