Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
