porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
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