That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
