they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
