Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.