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i just had sex bonerless
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
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