i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
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so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
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He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..