i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
