ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Randomize
