Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize
