she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
