ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
