I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
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