i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
