Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
our cab driver is having phone sex.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
