While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
