all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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