I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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