beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
I can't turn off my feet"
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
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