Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
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