Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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