Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
