I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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