I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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