All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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