I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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