are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
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