Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
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