i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
